I know of this movie, and decided to watch it, based on two very pure reasons: 1) Multiple sources have talked about an evil ending and 2) the French chick from Better Off Dead gets naked. I love Better Off Dead and that actress is the perfect Hollywood girl next door. Meaning hot and brunette.
The Last American Virgin follows three teenagers in Los Angeles as they attempt to get laid. One is a ladies man (Rick), one is a fat kid with personality, and the final kid, Gary, our star, is a dork. The dork sees the new girl, Karen, and immediately falls in love, but he's a dork so his attempts to make a move are awkward. Unfortunately Rick just goes after it, cause he's a good friend like that.
While that minor subplot is happening, the three get into various misadventures in attempts to get laid. First they lure three girls with promises of cocaine, then deliver sweet and low. Then Gary delivers a pizza to a hot older woman and says to himself "Hey, I'll get my friends!" (Gary is obviously gay.) Then they three just buy a whore and get crabs.
Back to subplot A, where Rick is progressing with Karen while Gary mopes and tries to find ways to distract Rick from pursuing Karen. Gary's infatuation is to the extent that he completely ignores Karen's friend who totally wants him. Apparently he'd rather band a crab infested whore than a young teenage girl who costs nothing but a little attention.
When Rick finally bangs Karen romantically aka the scorers box in the stands of a HS football field, she gets pregnant. Rick, stand up guy that he is, tells her to fuck off. Gary, sucker dork that he is, swoops in to help Karen get an abortion. Oh, spoiler alert! Post abortion, when it looks like Gary and Karen MIGHT be going somewhere, she instead immediately goes back to Rick.
On to my random thoughts:
Wow, this locker room scene. Inexplicable. What high school does this? And why are they having so much fun whilst doing it? The smile on Gary and fat kid's face as they measure erect penises is disturbing.
I see Gary chugging from a bottle of Jack Daniels and want to call shenanigans. Then I remember they are in LA, and this is the 80s. He still should be coughing as he chugs that shit. That's something I've never liked about movies and tv shows. Actors "drink" too easily. But Gary should also be doing lines of coke, as it is LA in the 80s.
Did I mention that Rick also played Troy, from Goonies? Perfect casting.
Stellar soundtrack.
In my opnion, there are a few problems with this movie:
1. Male lead isn't likable.
2. Plot is all over the place.
3. The dubbing is bad.
4. Diane Franklin's performance is terrible.
But on the plus side....
1. Diane Franklin is topless.
2. Other assorted nudity.
3. Inexplicably evil ending.
4. They play a U2 song.
And about that ending. I get her not being into Gary. He's a wimp, it makes perfect sense. But going back to the guy who dumped you as soon as you said you were pregnant? What kind of fucked up childhood did she have to want to do that? If I'm Gary, I'm asking for my $250 back. And the expression on Karen and Rick's faces. Is that bad acting or a conscious choice? Rick looks on the verge of tears to me. So does Karen for a minute. Then she just kinda smirks, alerting Gary that he's a fucking sucker. All I ask for, as a viewer, is vengeance.
The real downfall of The Last American Virgin is that it tries, and fails, to be Fast Times at Ridgemont High. While I respect Last American Virgin's nihilistic ending, everything else about it is inferior.
First Viewing: 2+2+1+3+2 = 10