Notorious in Hollywood circles, The Room is one of the worst movies ever made. When people tell me something is the worst ever made, I always remain skeptical. If it's so bad, why does everyone watch it? How are awful movies still made in this age of film? Who pays for it? Can it really be worse than a Michael Bay project?
Most of these questions were answered by a clip of the movie shown during an episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job. It's a short scene where the writer/director/producer/star Tommy Wiseau walks into a florist to buy flowers. This one, 30 second scene encapsulates the awfulness of the movie: horrible dialog, horrible sound mixing/dubbing, completely pointless action for the plot, horrible editing. After seeing the clip, I had to get the full experience.
Short plot recap: Tommy Wiseau plays Johnny, a man living in San Francisco, engaged to Lisa. Lisa decides she doesn't love Johnny anymore and that she's in love with his best friend Mark. She starts sleeping with Mark, tells all her friends she hates Johnny, but never ends the engagement. Johnny eventually finds out, freaks, and commits suicide.
That is literally all that happens in the movie, but it's drawn out for 90 minutes. They never explain nor show why Lisa likes Mark so much and hates Johnny, she just flips a switch. Even more baffling, at no point do we understand why she remains engaged to Johnny while telling everyone but him that she hates him. She continuously says she "wants it all," but never explains what "all" is. She "doesn't want to talk about it."
Every scene is basically a repetition of a previous scene. There are maybe 4 total subjects discussed throughout the movie. Let's say each subject equals 2 minutes of conversation. Total conversation time is probably 60 minutes, taking 30 minutes off the total for excruciatingly long, un-erotic sex scenes and pointless shots of San Francisco cityscape. That means those 4 conversations are repeated at least 7 times each. That's probably being generous.
There are moments in the movie where you think the editor royally fucked up. Some scenes occur where it seems like the characters have no knowledge of the previous scene. At one point Johnny and Lisa discuss their upcoming marriage, which leads to a new scene where most of the male cast is dressed in tuxedos. The obvious thought here is that we've jumped to the wedding day. However, all that happens is that the male characters say hi to each other then throw a football around in a street alley (completely logical action in tuxedos). The next scene we are back to being one month away from the wedding. WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY IN TUXEDOS?!?!?!?!?
What's truly amazing though, what sets the movie apart, is the amazing ability to make the exact same narrative mistakes within a conversation. The dialog routinely changes subjects or dies for no apparent reason. Characters answer unasked questions and laugh at unsaid things. There are multiple scenes that go nowhere and have no relation to the main story. In the middle of the movie everyone freaks out because Johnny's adopted son gets in trouble with drugs. This episode is completely forgotten two scenes later.
By the end of the movie, I was baffled, amazed, confused, and laughing my ass off. Atrocious acting, atrocious dubbing, atrocious camera work. Words can't do the movie justice. It has to be experienced.
Going where no movie has gone before, negative scores.
First Viewing: 0+(1)+(1)+0+3 = 1